Help

Asking for help is really difficult for me.  To me, it’s an admission of lack and failure.  Call it perfectionism, if you will.  Stubbornness, probably.  I hear about this “problem” a lot.  What is it about asking for help that is just so difficult for so many people?

My circle of trust is quite small.  And the last several years of life have taught me, perhaps incorrectly, that the delineation of that group should be somewhat fluid, while the criteria should remain unmoving.  Some people just don’t want to be friends anymore. Sometimes you just have to say goodbye.

I wonder how American society has influenced this.  As a woman, do I feel like I have to prove that I’m stronger than I might actually be to be treated equally to men?  Also, when I was growing up my parents would always warn me, “You don’t look American, so you have to work twice as hard to be judged at the same level as white people.”  In an interesting turn of events, I now work with people with special needs – people who cannot always ask for help.  One of the first things I teach a student who is non-verbal is to somehow ask for help.

Do as I say, not as I do.  🙂

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  1. I found this –“You don’t look American, so you have to work twice as hard to be judged at the same level as white people.”— really interesting.

    In addition to making me wonder (and ache) over how many things I’ve said, really trying to be helpful that might have set my kids up for struggle, it’s interesting because we grew up with the “understanding” that we had to work twice as hard to keep up with other races/nationalities in Math and Science, for example…

    Liked by 1 person

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